Thursday, September 9, 2010

Can't give up.....

I still don't feel like posting about the visit with the surgeon, it is discouraging and it sucks, but I can't give up. I have come so far and done so much to improve my health and I feel so much better then I did before I lost the weight. But all of this extra skin is causing problems and needs to be removed so I can move on with my life. I am sick of having hip and back pains from the extra weight of the skin putting pressure on my back and hips. The skin gets so red and raw that it will actually bleed and can easily get infected..... even though I clean it a lot and shower daily I still got an infection. It makes it harder to stand up straight and the skin pulls, pinches, rubs, hangs and will even swing from side to side when I walk and that can really hurt. It really effects so many things in my life. But even with all of that I still feel much better today then I did at 525 lbs....... So I can't give up, I can't quit and just say screw it and go eat a cheesecake. I did have two pieces of sugar free chocolate that had 1 carb each and made myself some sugar free boston cream filling with 7 carbs per 1/2 cup. I only had one serving of it and I still stayed under my 20 carb limit for the day too.
I am still low carb for life, nothing can discourage me from that. Losing this weight has been the best thing I ever did for my health. Even just getting my resting heart rate down from 110 to 65 beats per minute has been a huge improvement! Not to mention going from bed rest/minimal walking to being able to do 9k..... Yesterday I pretty much cried off and on all day until about 11pm. Today I felt a little better but not much, just wanted to stay in bed and forget the doctors visit ever happened. Then I happen to look down at my thigh with all the skin hanging off of it and I thought to myself, I would rather be saggy and infected then 525 lbs. and dead! So I got up and put on some of my newer, breathable gym clothes, heart monitor, grabbed my gym bag, drinks and left.
 I <3 the gym! Something about the gym just makes me feel better. I don't know if it is driving there with my music on loud and then being on the treadmill with more music or both. But it seems like lately, no matter how crappy I feel, the gym just makes me feel better. It didn't make me feel good enough to post about my doctors visit yet though..... but maybe tomorrow.


  1. CJ: i posted last night, I guess that I must not have pressed the right button or not, but I just want to cry with you too. Although I don't know what is wrong, I am sorry that you are discouraged, but I am also so proud of you. You still continue to inspire me... I love your blog, it makes me feel like I can continue with LC and actually lose weight. Perhaps there is a plan B or something?? Anyway, I hope you feel better. Cool on you for staying on plan... :) fourstubbs....

  2. CJ.. get a second opinion. Just because one doctor doesn't want to do what you want, doesn't mean another won't. If you let us know what the problem is, maybe we can brain storm some ideas to make it work!

  3. It has nothing to do with the doctor, it is the insurance company.